• Shelley

Getting curious about ourselves…

Using curiosity to understand our young person is only part of the picture. And quite possibly only the secondary part of it, because if we do not try to understand and develop compassion for ourselves first, we will find the understanding and compassion for our young person much more difficult, if not impossible.

In many instances, when we are interacting with our young person and emotions are high, we can respond in extreme ways that may surprise us in the moment. This is because we all store emotions and trauma from the past that we may not even be aware of. When that emotion is triggered, it can cause a reaction we don’t fully comprehend.

We may also be able to stay patient for a long time, respond calmly and constructively and help our young person through various situations for hours, days or even weeks but at a certain point, our patience runs out, our cup is empty, our spoons are all used up and we may experience this more extreme reaction.

We have to understand ourselves better. We have become more aware of our own emotions, how we are feeling and when we are triggered in a way that will mean we cannot be calm and constructive. We then have to consider how we can show compassion for and support ourselves most effectively.

Caring for ourselves can be a proactive and a reactive measure. It may be that if we can maintain the care for ourselves, we can keep our personal balance and energy intact. When we begin to feel that patience failing, we can then opt to care for ourselves. If we have some strategies at the ready, we can do what works for us to bring back the balance.

Some triggers and emotions may need more exploration and work than some simple breathing or a couple of hours away. This is where we have to ask what is going on, be willing to feel our own emotions and work through them.

Understanding ourselves allows us to show up in the best way for our young person, but is a great way of modelling to them and giving them permission to be curious about themselves, to see that we are all human, we all have emotions and we all firstly have to show understanding and compassion for ourselves.

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