• Shelley

It's all about connection.

The connection we have with our children will determine the success we have when we need to teach them a different behaviour. Punishments and shame only result, at best, in short term improvement and long term resentment.

When we want to show them an alternative to inappropriate behaviour and the relationship is fragile and disconnected, there is little chance of success.

"Connection before correction" is simple but true.

But connection is eroded when we don't understand our child's behaviour or can't work out the reasons behind it. Children with traits of ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia and other complex needs often express their frustration as challenging behaviour which often leads to difficulties in our relationship with them. No matter how many consequences we impose or how much they are told off, their difficulties are brain-based and these challenges continue! But we, as their parents, can make changes... to ourselves first!

We can understand their challenges, we can alter our response to build positivity, we can

strengthen the relationship and we can highlight their strengths and this connection will bring about huge change! They won't magically do all we ask or stop being the complex beings they are, but they will be more open to our suggestions, they will want to work with us towards more positive strategies and they will feel better about themselves. And from here, we can support them in their difficulties and celebrate their strengths, with a great positive connection.

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