Understanding for others, and ourselves…. then kindness for others, and ourselves
Understanding is described in the dictionary as having ‘sympathetic awareness or tolerance’ and ‘having insight or good judgement’.
In order to understand, we have to ask questions, getting curious is part of the process. Being willing to truly listen and being open to a different outcome from what we may expect or prefer, is necessary. Once we do this, we can begin to understand.
So often our young person is wary of telling how they truly feel or what actually happened as they fear our judgement. When we show curiosity we can begin to let go of that judgement and begin to have insight that leads to understanding.
In doing this we are breaking through many years - a lifetime - of our own ‘stuff’. This is not an easy task. We are trying to let go of preconceptions and judgements that have taken decades to become entrenched in us.
When we can begin to understand our young person as an individual, separate from these judgements, then we can begin to understand their feelings and their reactions more easily.This means we can show them kindness and compassion.
And as with all these truths, this applies equally to ourselves.
When we can become truly curious about the why or what of our own feelings and reactions,
without the judgement, then we can begin to understand ourselves more deeply and can show kindness and compassion to ourselves too.